If They Made My Life Into A Movie This Would be a Pretty Cool Scene

[It's 10:32 pm on a Thursday evening in January. Luke sits in his room working on an essay that should probably have been done a few days earlier. It's one of those evenings that comes at an end of one of those days where you didn't quite manage to get anything at all done, where you try and stuff as much as you can into its dying hours just to redeem all the time you wasted in front of screens all day. It's the kind of evening when you least expect a phone call from an old friend at a concert in Dublin. The phone rings. It's Tom M, calling from a Joe Pug concert in Dublin.]

Tom: [You'll have to do the County Cork accent in your head if you want this to be realistic] I’m watching Joe Pug. You should be here.
Luke: That would be really cool. I wish I could.
Tom: I have to go, I’m going to call you later.

[An hour passes. The essay on American social capital begins to write itself. Luke's friends come back from the pub and retreat to their own laptops. He can hear a girl laughing downstairs. The house begins to shut down. Suddenly, the phone rings. It's Tom again.]

Luke: Hello?
Tom: Shh! Shhh! Listen!
[Luke strains to hear. There's music. It's Joe Pug, singing Hymn #101. For a few moments, Luke is standing in a pub in Dublin, swaying to the music, listening to Tom quietly sing along in the background. But it's a long song.]
Luke: That was awesome, Tom.
Tom: [Whispering] Yeah, yeah, I’ll call you later.

[Now it's getting really late. The housemates have all gone to bed. There's a clock ticking on the wall behind him, knocking down seconds as the distance between the present moment and the approaching deadline slowly contracts. Luke is nearing word count limit territory when the phone rings again.]

Tom: [No longer whispering. Probably a little drunk] Hey, man, it’s me, I’m going to pass the phone over to Joe Pug, talk to Joe Pug.
Luke: Wait. What? Tom, what?
Tom: Talk to Joe Pug, I’m going to give him the phone, are you ready? Here he is.
Luke: Okay, yeah. Okay. Yes. Yeah!
Tom: Here he is.
[There's a pause. During this time Luke considers how difficult small talk with barbers, supermarket clerks and taxi drivers can be. He imagines that small talk, over the telephone, at 2.30 am, with a stranger who makes beautiful music, is probably very difficult too.]
Joe Pug: Hey, Luke! Why the hell aren’t you here! [Joe uses the f-word a lot more than my PC blog wants to admit. Add expletives as you deem necessary]
Luke: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! [This seems the most obvious response]
Joe Pug: Luke, you are seriously missing out!
Luke: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Joe Pug: Man, we’ve spent like 20,000 dollars on strippers and cocaine! There is so much cocaine! You should be here, man!
Luke: Yeah! Hahahahahahahaha!!! [These inappropriately enthusiastic laughs occured far more often than I like to admit]
Joe Pug: Get on an aeroplane! Come to Dublin! Your friend Tom says you should come.
Luke: Yeah I…Dublin…I could…Well…………Hahahahahahahaha!!!
Joe Pug: Hey, don’t worry about it. You’re in Bristol right? I think you should drive up to London this weekend and come see me play.
Joe Pug: Awesome, man. Seriously you are missing out on this, we have hundreds of strippers and like three kilos of coke. It’s awesome. Okay, well you have a good one. See ya, man.
Luke: Bye, Joe Pug!

[The phone goes dead. Suddenly, Luke is back in his room in Bristol, inexplicably standing on his bed, cell phone clamped to ear. It’s cold. There is an unfinished essay blinking at him from his computer and clock is still ticking. He is shaking a little bit. In a few minutes he’ll be asleep, dreaming of things that couldn’t possibly be as weird or surreal as those last waking moments of his Thursday evening.

Oh, and I got a first on the essay. Thanks, Joe.]


I REALLY want to talk about Iron & Wine’s new album, but I think it would be weird not to now post a little Joe Pug for you to enjoy. If you already know Joe Pug, you’ll already know Hymn #101, so I’ll post another one of his great tunes, Speak Plainly Diana. Hope you like it.

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Feb 2011

4 Comments Add Yours ↓

  1. 1

    Hahahaha, this was hilarious! Your responses to Joe Pug were so….articulate. This now brings the count of Famous Folk Musicians You Have Interacted With On A Personal Level up to two, right?

  2. 2

    I’m such a nerd. Now I’m sitting here wondering if Joe Pug is kidding about the hookers and the coke? Or for real? Because it just seems so UN-folk of him. But…maybe?

    Methinks I’ve spent too much time writing essays instead of hanging out with rock stars.

    Also IRON AND WINE HAS A NEW ALBUM?! Thank god I’m faithful reader of yours.

  3. Ben says:

    interesting story! I’ve just been listening to this joe pug bloke – really like it, cheers for the recommendation. next time you speak to him pass on my regards.

  4. PHB says:

    It’s at least four now, Holly. Don’t forget Tom Paxton!

    Loved this post…


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